Andrew Carney
TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF?
I am currently a secondary school teacher by profession, English and History!
In the school that I attended as a student, St. Jarlath's College, in Tuam; Co. Galway. The hometown. And of course, Jamie's background to a large degree too! I am very proud to work there and I see SJC as representing a key part of my life, not just a workplace; but a place that is cherished and unique.
In terms of my interests and passions, sport and drama are the key areas. As a young lad, drama played no role- although my Father had been an actor and director in his time. He was also a sports broadcaster by trade and this was a greater influence on me. I played football, golf, tennis and any other sport going... the only bit of success I found was in snooker! Today, I try to keep as physically fit as possible. For both body and mind. Age is creeping in!
I discovered my interest in drama in my early 20s, essentially by accident. I was doing a PLC course in Galway City, where I lived for many years, on Social Studies. This was to help develop performing and writing from then on.
It was an avenue I was originally interested in before deviating back towards the University route and teaching- more temperamentally suited to that in hindsight. As part of a social Men's Group work placement (during the latter stages of the one year course) however, for men looking to be reintroduced to employment and interests, I reluctantly helped out with a theatre project. Ironically, I felt that being naturally shy and reserved would rule me out; incorrectly! Fell in love with the stage immediately, it seemed to be a natural fit- very pleasant and belated surprise. Confidence and satisfaction was immediate and a huge source of relief! A truly lucky break. Off to the races and a future that involved performing in 30 plus plays and writing several.
DID YOU FEEL THAT WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING SPECIFIC THAT MADE YOU DIFFERENT TO OTHERS?
Yes. As a teacher, I'm not perfect, far from it, but I feel that I can identify young people who need a bit of guidance. My parents were very loving but a lack of confidence and shyness plagued me from a young age. As an adult, this has largely been overcome-or at least covered up/managed more with awareness to a greater degree. I know myself properly now. It's a journey that takes time and effort. A lot of mistakes and setbacks are perhaps no harm in the end.
Taking to the stage involves concentration, an open mind and sheer graft. Although naturally scattered, I felt more 'switched on' there.
As a boy, a lack of comfort in social situations definitely held me back in development. I was far more comfortable kicking a ball against the wall for hours, smashing balls around a pool table, reading a book, listening to the Walkman or watching a movie than interacting socially. I had nothing to say outwardly, especially to girls! Just independent, self-conscious and a bit lost inside. Thank God that the internet age and all that information and distraction wasn't available then, it would have been too easy a refuge and no help!
I was reasonably academic, a voracious reader, so English was a natural strength, but extremely inconsistent in effort. Lazy and afraid of pushing forward. An 'A' in English and 'F' in Maths was a semi-regular occurrence. This apparent contradiction made me feel different. Now, I realise that resilience was lacking- I try to help students with that today. It's a kinder world now. I love that teachers and students have warmer, more open dynamics; that mental health in wider society is so supported and discussed, a hugely positive change in collective norms. It was long overdue but thank God it arrived.
But there is a traditional side still lurking, I still believe that a core personal resilience or toughness is required. That's a cold reality. We're not all victims or 'snowflakes' here! Hard work is required in life sooner or later! The balance must be struck however. A voice is allowed- but it feels like having a voice is complex now. One 'wrong' word and people pile in. I love social media, when it's used positively. The increasingly fractious atmosphere there is increasingly disheartening and frustrating; although the pandemic doesn't help,
Just my own perspective. It's subjective. Growing up in particular is tough, in any era/environment- working with teenage boys highlights my belief that challenges faced need genuine, sincere and effective support- not criticism. Feeling misunderstood can be brutal, a lonely place with no warmth.
HOW DO YOU DEVELOP CONFIDENCE AND POSITIVITY?
Tough question- but a crucial one. I don't have one size fits all answers. Just experiences and thoughts. It's a gradual process perhaps. An individual thing that can come far more naturally to some than others.
Self-awareness took me time- ego is a killer and holds you back and affects your personal relationships in a profound way, often painfully. Equally, a lack of confidence often lurks behind ego. Pursuits help you find out who you are. Resilience is a go-to word there, develop it. Be careful who you surround yourself with. Supportive and encouraging trumps critical and envious every day of the week- and twice on Sundays! Ask questions. Be reflective, constructive in your own self-criticism and learn to be patient with yourself and others. Sadly, that was a major flaw in my character for years. Defensive, stubborn, prickly and unyielding- makes me cringe now. It only dented my confidence and held me back in ways that only became apparent much later. The harshest voice however is often your own. If people abuse trust and disrespect/envy you or your goals... let them go. Don't hesitate. Life is far too short to be saddled with the insecurities of others.
Follow your dreams and be true to yourself. If you have talent, use it. I know that writing and performing is mine, nothing holds me back now. That's not arrogance, it's true, authentic confidence. Push yourself and put yourself out there. Your own opinion of you, informed, is king. Other people's opinion of you is none of your business and irrelevant. It sounds easy, it arguably isn't in any way, shape or form! Plus, write stuff down! Plan, scheme, create, keep promises... but writing it down may be the first simple step towards achieving. Confidence isn't just about achievement of course- but setting challenges and meeting them helps mine. Writing and, more importantly, staging plays has been the most satisfying challenge met yet, alongside great people- even beyond acting on stage. Foster relationships that help you learn and grow.
Enjoy Netflix, down time is important, but remember to get off that couch!
WHAT DOES THE FUTURE HOLD FOR YOU?
As you mature, make decisions. Identify, what are your priorities? Your values and belief systems. Your faith or otherwise? What are you grateful for? Can you look yourself in the mirror and be at peace with who you are- what you are becoming? If you can... make plans for the future with confidence. My priority is simple- do my best, in work, play, goals. Some days don't go well. I am not good at certain things! Plan to do better. I am occasionally difficult and stubborn. Again, plan to do better. Don't play victim, it's transparent anyway, learn to take responsibility. Reset and go again.
I am incredibly grateful for health, the health of my family above all. I am grateful for friends that I value, making the circle smaller as time passes.
Plans involve mortgage approval, the next play, the next day. Plans involve more travel and more fresh air. I am a terrible golfer right now! I was decent once, the goal is to be better again. The trees and bushes will be replaced by the fairway again this summer, enjoyment too hopefully!!
The future, as clichéd as this sounds, can be anything you realistically want it to be. Write it down. I am halfway through a five year plan, about a year behind! It will happen though, private and personal as it is.
Finding my voice as a writer has been a big achievement, the inherent quality almost doesn't matter. But that five year plan will be the most important piece of writing yet!
Thanks Jamie for the questions and opportunity.